"I hope you receive as much as you give"

April 15, 2023

Namaste everyone,

I am writing to you after what seem like an eternity since my last post.

It is a beautiful, almost summer-like evening here in Toronto. In fact, it’s been summer-like since I I arrived on Wednesday of last week. I’ve been here attending (in-person!) the 2023 Toronto Yoga Conference - an event I have been waiting to return to for 3 long years since the cancellation of the event in 2020 due to Covid-19.

Today was the last day of the Conference and I felt a prompting to write down some of the thoughts and feelings I’ve had over the last four days which has felt like both a return to something familiar and close and unwaivering; but, also it has felt at times completely novel and strange and surreal for the simple reason of (finally) being physically present next to so many other loving yogis who have also longed for this human connection since the last Conference convened three years ago. In that way, the mental health impact of Covid-19 on my fellow yogis was, at times, palpable. I was one of these yogis.

Coming back to Toronto for this Conference in person was something I genuinely looked forward to these past three years, like a child waiting anxiously on the night before opening their gifts on Christmas Day. I remember when I attended in 2019 the incredible experiences and friendships that I made which have shaped how I have developed as both a yogi and as a yoga teacher since that time. Having had an opportunity to practise in 2019 with such yoga gurus as Rodney Yee and Travis Elliott was humbling and transformative for me. Travis’ humility, pursuit of personal excellence and service to other are all qualities that I wish to emulate as a yogi and as a teacher.

A part of me, admittedly, felt a need to compare what I felt in 2019 to my experience in 2023. This, of course, was an unreasonable comparison . I quickly disabused myself of this thought and resolved to participate in this year’s conference with an open mind and an open heart.

What resonated with me most at this year’s Conference was the return to human connection with my fellow yogis, and the shared feeling of just how MUCH we all yearned for this human connection with each since the pandemic started. I have come to learn that this connection - which took the form of simply looking into another yogi’s eyes (who I didn’t know) - is essential to our well-being and happiness as human beings.

“Chant it happier!”

In fact, giving ourselves permission to share in a communal moment of happiness and joy - even if temporary - was one of the central pillars of a brilliant session curated by Jack Boken (Happy Jack Yoga) for this year’s Conference. The title of Jack’s session was “Yoga for Spiritual Care”. What resonated the most with me about Jack’s presentation was just how easeful Jack was in facilitating the dialogue with all 33 participants in the session this morning. Jack exudes wisdom, humility, grace and humour. One of my favourite moments was when we were all chanting a beloved mantra - loka sukhino bhavantu - he belted out mid-sentence “Chant it happier!” which I found so, so infectious. Although I have had some exposure in the past to different pranayama, mantra, mudra and meditation practices, for the first time in a VERY long time I felt the power of these practices energetically and spiritually in a way that brought me back to a time in my yoga journey in which I felt truly aligned with my highest potential in body, breath and mind. Unarmed, raw and completely in the present moment.

Thank you, Jack, for helping me to remember the importance of spiritual care and ensuring that we are filling our cup first spiritually and mentally before we offer to help fill another’s cup. Leaving today’s session with Jack, I recalled just how important it is to ensuring that we are protecting our spiritual self-care and that this is always a place of refuge that we can return to.

I hope you receive as much as you give.

In reflecting upon the beautiful session with Jack, I could not help but think about the connection to another session that I found to be very resonant for me at this year’s Conference. This was a day-long spiritual medicine workshop with the indelible and inspiring Naty Howard (Shamanic Healer) . How can I explain what happened in Naty’s class? One word: transformative. Naty and her student apprentice Michelle - another powerful spiritual teacher in her own right - offered us a glimpse into the beautiful world of sacred medicine and allowed us to experience its healing properties through a beautifully curated yoga asana practice, a deeply moving cleansing ceremony, and a multi-dimensional guided meditation practice at the end of class which let me in a deep, sonorous slumber! It was also in this session that I met Shannon (from Vancouver Island) and Trish (from Barrie) - two dear fellow yogis who I got to know during the Conference and hope to keep in touch with long after the Conference has adjourned for another year.

Something that resonated with me all of yesterday was something that Naty said when we were in circle: She said - and I am paraphrasing here - that: “You are not actually the things that make you who you are. Rather, you are expressions of the different substances (called doshas) that form the type of personality that is you.” It was a profound statement for me and one that I wish to explore going forward as I move towards towards a cleaner and healthier diet in my sadhana practice.

Something also that resonated with me deeply (and brought me to tears) was a message that was communicated to me by Michelle after she performed a spiritual cleansing ceremony over my body. She whispered to me: “I hope that you receive as much as you give”. These were incredibly moving words for me to hear, as I had been feeling in the months leading up to the Conference a generally lack of focus and motivation, both in my yoga teaching and also in my work as a litigation lawyer.

In hindsight, I believe it was burnout that is the cause of my feeling of apathy and indifference these last several months, and this weekend’s Conference was an overwhelming affirmation of all of the precious and beautiful things that I have missed in my yoga journey. This was a time for remembrance, fellowship, connection and renewal. I am feeling so refreshed and ready to return to my law practice, my law students and my yoga students. I cannot wait until I am back against in 2024 for another chapter of this truly wonderful Conference.

I wish you all abundance, happiness, light and hope, always,

OM Shanti Shanti Shanti

Hari OM,

Alex